This article was meant to be posted in September, but due to hurricane Helene I was delayed in posting it. This article is taken from my sermon which I preached at our first retreat which we held at Eden Chapel September 14th. Having said all this, I'm excited to be posting this article for all our brothers to read and be edified by!
This article on Romans 12 is on biblical masculinity. Chapter 12 marks a shift in the book of Romans, as Paul transitions toward the application of all he wrote earlier. This chapter perfectly reveal what sets us apart from the corrupted images of masculinity we see portrayed by the world. Whether it be the charismatic yet totally depraved bravado of men like Andrew Tate, or the shallow irony of male celebrities and athletes who walk around with painted nails and model for fashion shoots in dresses and heels, the issue of what it means to be a man has never been more prevalent in our society than it is now, and we as Christians HAVE to have an answer! More than this, we are required as Christians to have a biblical answer. If we are to be reformed, possessing a worldview that filters all things through the lens of Scripture, then we must let Scripture tell us what a man is.
In Romans 12:9-21, we find that biblical manhood is defined by three things, and all of them center round love. While love is not traditionally seen as the center of masculinity, God is love, therefore it stands to reason that true masculine character should flow out of the character of our love. Looking at this chapter, the first thing that sets Christian men apart is the Object of our love. The second is the Origin of our love. The third is the Order of our love. From these, we learn three things. Firstly, we learn that What We Love Matters. Secondly, we learn that Why We Love Matters. Finally, we learn that How We Love Matters.
What We Love Matters:
So let’s look at the first point, that What We Love Matters. This is how Paul begins in verse 9, giving three instructions regarding love: love what is genuine, abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good. Starting with the first instruction, we learn that what we love is important, because we model love to those around us. If we want those around us to experience the love of God through us, then our love must be genuine! This is a lot easier said than done, since some people are a lot harder to love than others. Genuine love is not natural to us, since men have always been more satisfied with revenge than forgiveness, and we see this in our day and age.
Politics and entertainment are permeated with a desire for revenge and reparation. A lot of this stems from our desire to see justice served, but it has never been justice that satisfied our flesh. Instead, it has always been the violence and punishment associated with it. The truth is that most of us only desire justice because it gives us permission to match our enemies eye-for-eye and tooth-for-tooth. We claim to do such in the name of love. Love for country, for family, for freedom, for justice, for God, but if our love is not genuine, then we cannot model genuine love to those around us. Instead, we will use our influence as men to teach women and children that love is violent, impatient, and selfish.
This is not biblical love! To see this, one must only turn to 1 Corinthians 13. There we see that love is kind, it is patient, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but in the truth, it believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. These are the marks of genuine love, and if we do not exhibit these characteristics, then we will have failed to be the models of love for our families and friends. This kind of love must not be confused as all-accepting or all-tolerating, which is why Paul gives the second instruction: to abhor what is evil. As you believe all things, do not be gullible. As you hope all things, do not be naïve. As you endure all things, do not compromise truth. As we exhibit genuine love, rather than losing our sense of disgust or hatred toward evil, we will actually see our feelings toward evil sharpen and mature.
Before we can hold fast to what is good, we must first abhor what is evil. I don’t think Paul’s placement of these commands is merely coincidental. Throughout Romans, we see that Paul writes every command, every thought, as the next chain of one coherent whole. Disgust and hatred toward evil is what produces genuine love within us. As descendants of Adam, the inheritance of man is sin and death. We are conceived in iniquity and born loving what is evil, inwardly despising all that is truly good. Therefore, before we as God’s elect can begin to possess genuine love, one which springs from that which is pure, godly and true, we must first be made to despise that which we once loved. This is why if we desire to call ourselves Christian men, men who follow and obey Christ, we cannot merely love that which is good, but we must also hate that which is evil.
This leads Paul to his final instruction in verse 9: to hold fast to what is good. This is because we as humans often fail to achieve maturity when it comes to our feelings. Just as we tend to favor one arm over the other, we also tend to favor one course of feeling over another. Paul has already made it clear that our efforts towards genuine love must not weaken our disgust towards evil, and now he makes it clear that our disgust towards evil must not blind us to all that is good. There is a very real danger that we as men confuse genuine love with despising evil. It is not enough for us to merely abhor evil, so Paul instructs us to hold fast to what is good.
If we wish to lead our churches and our families as godly men, we cannot fall prey to this trap. Instead, we do not merely fight to vanquish evil, but to preserve that which is good. We as Christian men must cultivate a theology and a worldview that appreciates the beauty, the complexity and the goodness of life. We must not allow our senses to grow dull, but should strive to exhibit a deep and abiding joy for living. A Christian man who spends all his time entombed in his home or buried behind screens is no good. Instead, we must be present and active, fully existing in the life we have been given.
Why We Love Matters
This deep appreciation for life despite the corruption of sin and death leads me to my second point: that Why We Love Matters. This point focuses on the Origin of our love, specifically as it pertains to our love for one another. Just as God loves us as His children, chosen out of the world from before the foundations of the earth, our love for one another stems from our eternal brotherhood. This is one of the things I wish to see my brothers in Christ realize to its full potential. When we look at one another, what do we see? Men of similar interests? Men of similar backgrounds? Men of similar faith? All of these are true, but they are merely the colors that fill a much greater picture.
When we look at one another, we should see one another as God sees us. The men sitting next to you are your eternal brethren. We sit here as brothers bonded not by the temporal bonds of birth/ancestry, but by the eternal bonds of grace and salvation! We love each other because we recognize one another as co-heirs in eternity, and we love the lost around us because we wish to see them become the same. Since we know it is God who calls, we love each and every person as though today will be the day God calls them to become our brother or sister in Christ.
This kind of love is unique, because it produces a sense of honor and respect for human life that is sorely missing in today’s society. Whether it be unborn children or people of different political opinions, people today lack any honor or respect for others. To the contrary, Paul commands us to outdo one another in showing honor! Our competition is not like the men of the world, who compete to humiliate one other, always trying to be more successful than the next guy. We compete in honoring our brothers more than they honor us. Christian men don’t boast in wealth, women or status, but in their fellow believers. The greatest Christian man is the one who is the greatest servant, which is what leads Paul to instruct us not be slothful in zeal, but to be fervent in spirit as we serve God. The language Paul uses when he says to be fervent in spirit can also be translated as boiling over in spirit. This is because our service toward our brothers and sisters boils over from a soul that desires to serve God. The highest honor that we have as men is to serve God’s children, both visible and invisible.
Paul builds on this in verses 12-13, pointing out practical ways in which our love for God and his children is expressed in our everyday life. The reason Why We Love Matters is because it flows from the hope that we have in Christ. This is why we can rejoice in that hope, enduring tribulation with patience knowing that all this shall pass, but God’s love will never cease or diminish. This hope which patiently endures tribulation gives us strength and discipline as men to be constant in prayer, unflinching amidst the spiritual warfare waged against us. As we remain constant in prayer, we find ourselves being drawn toward the needs of our fellow Christians. This spiritual sensitivity towards the needs of others produces within us a desire to show hospitality, caring for our fellow saints knowing how much more God cares for them.
How We Love Matters
You can already see how quickly our inward examination of the love we ought to have as Christian men begins to take shape outwardly, blossoming into a life lived in obedience. This leads me to my third and final point: that How We Love Matters. We are men, not machines! As men of God, we are even more man than when we were dead in our sin. As we read in Romans 5, we are being conformed into the image of Christ who is absolute man, perfect man, God-man, Better Adam, and the God-man wept. He also rejoiced! He was not a cold and indifferent man, but one who felt all the joys and pains of life deeper than we could ever imagine.
This should shake us as men out of emotional slumber and cause us to be truly present in our own lives and the lives of those around us. As Christian men, we should not be afraid to rejoice with others. Likewise, we should not withdraw from sorrow, but weep with those who weep, truly embracing the sanctifying pains of life. In this way, we as men will model for the women and children in our lives what it looks like to feel rightly, helping them to process their own emotions in a godly way.
This willingness to truly live life together is what allows us to live in harmony with one another. We must always seek to be the kind of men who create harmony within our homes, our community and our churches. We do not thrive off division and chaos like the world does. Instead, we lead by example, humbling ourselves and exalting the lowly, never esteeming ourselves as wise in our own sight. Even as we contend for the truth, we must always seek to be the ones who break down walls rather than build them, being mindful to show honor to all. By doing so, we stand out from the world, rising above by walking humbly and peaceably with all men as far as we are able.
This is because we as men have a capability to carry out violence in ways that women and children cannot. This gives our words force and power, which is why we as men are marked by how we treat our enemies just as much as by the way we treat each other. The way we do this is by turning our desire for vengeance over to God, knowing that He is faithful to execute his justice against all unrighteousness. Since we know that God will punish our enemies, we are free from that burden. This freedom is what gives us the ability to love our enemy, feeding him when he’s hungry, giving him something to drink when he’s thirsty, because we know our love towards them will not sacrifice one iota of justice. This is like burning coals on our enemies head, because we are not consumed by hatred like they are, we are not conformed to the evils of this Dark Age, but we are filled with Christ-like love.
Conclusion:
This is how Paul ends his instructions on the marks of the true Christian, and it is where we will end as well. What sets us apart as Christian men is that we do not overcome evil by evil, but we overcome evil with good, we overcome superficial love with genuine love, we overcome pride through humility and this all begins when we examine the Object, Origin and Order of our love. As we do so, God is faithful to work through His Word, through His Spirit and through our prayers to make us worthy of the title of men, a title and role which we must redeem from the slander and abuse of this fallen world. May God strengthen us to do so, and may He be most glorified as we live our lives for Him. Amen!